I am writing this morning as ‘momma tears’ fall.  My boy is growing up. 

At 12 he looks like a young teen and has all the earmarks of a soon-to-be teenager.  He’s starting to face decisions that are his to make and take on responsibilities that minimize his dependence on his father and me.  Up until this moment I’ve been proud to see him mature and grow, and I am still very proud of him, but today the pangs of having to let go set in.  And as is often the case, my emotions were triggered by a simple and seemingly insignificant moment.  He left for the school bus without me. 

For seven years I’ve kept him company at his bus stops, enjoying the time with him while we wait for the bus to come.  But today that all changed.   He’s a seventh grader now.  He sleeps in until the last minute, gets ready on his own, eats while he watches ESPN (what happened to the Disney Channel?), goes up to brush his teeth, then comes down ready to go. 

Because he was still waking up while eating his breakfast this morning, he didn’t have much to say, and then went up to his room to finish getting ready.  Moments later he came back down , grabbed his backpack, and headed for the door – obviously planning to go with out me.  He paused for a hug only because I stopped him to give him a hug, then went out the door giving me an “okay” when I said, “Goodbye!  I love you!  God bless you!”  Then he proceeded out of the house and down the driveway, looking like the cute 12-year old that he is, without giving me another thought, as he made his own way to the bus stop. 

I left the garage door open just in case he ‘needed anything’ or missed the bus and came back to say that he needed me to take him to school.  Actually, I left the garage door open because I couldn’t bring myself to close it behind him. 

This is all as it should be, I know.  And I’m grateful for all the mornings we had together in previous years, but for some reason I was moved to tears as I watched him walk away.  I guess because it’s not just about the bus stop.  It’s where he is in his life.  He’s moving on in his own life, becoming his own person. 

Surprised by my tears I came upstairs to seek the comfort of my prayer chair.  I needed to pray about all of this.  Before I sat down I opened the blinds. As  I did, I caught a glimpse of the top of my sons head bobbing up and down as he broke into a jog to get to the school bus as it came to a stop at the bottom of the hill.  It was as if God brought me up here just in time to see my son jogging to the bus so He could say, “He’s going to make it.  He’ll be ok.”  And I knew that wasn’t just about the bus, but also about all the other wonderful things he’ll pursue and challenges he’ll face. 

I guess it’s ok to close the garage door now

 Dear Lord,  Thank you for the wonderful reassurance You gave me this morning to let me know that my son will be ok.  It helps to make letting go a little easier.   But Lord, don’t let me let him go too much!  Please help us to stay connected, and most importantly, help us  keep him connected to YOU.    In Your holy name I pray.  Amen.

For a related reading, see one of my previous posts, “Coaching Kids for the Big Game” under the March archives. 

And to leave comments or responses, click on the word ‘comments’ under the title of the post for which you are responding.

Blessings to all,

Renee

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